Bittersweet Memories
by panners
Summary: RxT continuation fic -- One year on, Tsukushi turns to Rui for advice in maintaining a long distance relationship. Unexpectedly, however, Tsukushi finds her old feelings resurfacing for the first man she had ever loved – one who hasn't given up on her...
1. Excess baggage

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except the plot. :)

Author's note: This is a continuation fic with a difference (hopefully, lol); unlike most, it does not start at four years from the end of the series, but rather, right at the very end of the one-shot special (one year later).

And secondly, it's an RxT fic. To me, the special was screaming out RxT. So hither, I present...

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Onkiu

_Chapter 1: Excess baggage_

* * *

"Are you alright, Tsukushi?" Rui asked as he waved his hand in front of Tsukushi's blank face. She was staring out the window of the airplane - the window with its shutters _down_. 

He tried to stifle his laughter; her poker face never ceased to amuse him.

"Huh -? What? Oh, Rui," said Tsukushi absentmindedly, snapping out of her trance.

She did not notice that her hair was now plaited in all sorts of weird thanks to a certain somebody sitting next to her.

It had only been yesterday that they had arrived in France, yet Tsukushi's trip felt like it was over before it had even begun. The time there flew by so quickly in that one day she was there; every minute with Domyouji felt so precious.

She had spent a few fleeting moments in his arms before it felt like she was cruelly wrenched from him; and before she knew it, she was back on the plane to Japan, and he on his way to New York.

"Did you want any drinks?" asked Rui, pointing at the smiling air hostess with her trolley of juice cartons and wine bottles.

"No... no thanks," declined Tsukushi, still a bit spaced out. She had been spending most of her flight relishing in the few moments that they had spent together; in fact, she had been so into her thoughts that she had not noticed Rui doing various things to her hair, and Akira laughing at the effect; nor did she notice Soujiro flirting shamelessly with the air hostesses.

But after much thinking about the current state of her relationship with Domyouji, she had gathered all her thoughts together and knew that she had to ask Rui the one question burning in her mind - one she knew that only _he_ could answer.

Rui was smiling pleasantly at the in-flight entertainment screen in front of him, and had headphones over his ears. He looked very peaceful as Tsukushi considered whether to disturb him with her personal matters.

"Rui..." she began, tapping his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking slightly concerned. He pulled his headphones down with his long, delicate fingers. "Are you feeling airsick?"

"No," said Tsukushi, looking at him imploringly. "It's just that I have something to ask you. How did you -"

Tsukushi was about to finish the rest of her question when she noticed that Soujiro and Akira were leaning over their seats from behind her, eavesdropping shamelessly. Upon realising that Tsukushi did indeed notice their sneaky behaviour, the unabashed pair smiled charismatically at her even though they knew that it wasn't going to work on her.

"- never mind," she finished, turning around and giving them a dirty look while cracking her knuckles in a very meaningful way. Soujiro and Akira took the hint and disappeared back into their seats behind her (though not before Soujiro winked at her playfully, as if he knew what she wanted to ask).

She made a mental note to ask Rui later when they were far away from the two playboys. Knowing them, if they heard what she was about to ask Rui, it would be known all over Eitoku by tomorrow (even though they have all long since graduated).

By the time that they had landed in Japan, it was late in the afternoon. After they were cleared by customs, and had gathered their baggage, it was dusk. Having said goodbye to Soujiro and Akira, Rui and Tsukushi left the airport in his limousine. They fought their way through the peak hour traffic, and when they finally reached Tsukushi's home in the outskirts of the city, it was dinnertime.

Rui helped Tsukushi carry her luggage inside. It felt good to be home especially after being jet-lagged from a long haul flight, and as Rui dropped her luggage into a corner of the cluttered room, Tsukushi called out, "I'm home!"

"Sister! You're home!" cried Susumu brightly as he came out from the tiny kitchen, carrying the dishes that Mama had cooked for dinner. He set them down on the dinner table. "And brother Hanazawa too! Are you staying for dinner?"

"Yes, p-p-please," replied Rui, stifling a yawn. The flight and the subsequent drastic shift in time zones had taken its toll on Rui, a boy who needed more sleep than a twenty four hour day could afford him.

Upon hearing Susumu's announcement of their return from abroad, Papa pirouetted out of the toilet, holding his newspaper like a baton. It would have been very graceful had he not subsequently tripped over Tsukushi's baggage and landed flat on his face, which, in turn, caused Rui to double over in laughter.

Tears appeared in Papa's eyes upon seeing Tsukushi and Rui, alive and well, in front of him; though what they were tears of Tsukushi could not really tell. It could have been from the pain of landing on his face; or it could be from seeing Tsukushi and Rui _together_; or it could even be the fact that they were genuinely alive and well, for only the day before had Papa lamented over Tsukushi's one day trip to Paris as if she was going to be away for the year. He had even predicted that the plane would drop out of the sky like a fly, and had pleaded with Tsukushi to be constantly vigilant of in flight turbulence.

"Oh, Tsukushi," wailed Papa as he latched onto Tsukushi, much to her embarrassment as tears started streaming down Rui's face - in laughter, of course. "I'm so glad to see you, safe and sound! What would happen if we lost our golden egg laying goose?"

"Pa...pa..." mumbled Tsukushi darkly. _So that was the reason he was so happy to see me..._

She was about to pinch his cheeks - hard - when Mama bustled out of the kitchen with their last dish (luncheon meat), and Papa subsequently removed himself from Tsukushi's zone of control.

With the plates all set up, the five of them sat down for dinner, and naturally, the topic of conversation was Tsukushi and Rui's trip to France. Mama and Papa's main interest, as it turned out, was not the actual trip to France, but rather, how Domyouji was.

"Did you see him?" asked Mama eagerly.

"Yes," answered Tsukushi evasively, feeling a sudden pang of loneliness from being apart from him.

"Did he hold you romantically in his arms? Like this?" said Papa, demonstrating by wrapping his arms around himself and wiggling around in a suggestive way.

"Papa!" cried Tsukushi aghast.

"Was brother Domyouji well?" asked Susumu.

"Yeah, he was. A brute, as ever. He's still got his monstrous strength," said Tsukushi. "He saved me from a crazed murderer."

"Wow! Was it like a damsel in distress scene?" cried Papa excitedly, forgetting that the main point in Tsukushi's statement was that she was actually in danger. His imagination was taking him too far. He fell back, attempting to lie in a sexy pose. "Did you cry out to him, 'Oh, please, save me!'?"

Tsukushi was about to kick him for thinking up such a preposterous question when Susumu saved her from the need and asked the question that they should've first asked her.

"Oh yeah," said Susumu. "How was the trip? Did you enjoy it?"

"It was great!" answered Tsukushi, finally getting the cue to speak about her experience abroad. "It was the first time I've been there - and Shizuka looked so beautifu-"

Tsukushi stopped, and looked at Rui hesitantly.

"What's wrong?" asked Rui, looking back at her in surprise.

"N-nothing," muttered Tsukushi. "Paris was pretty cold, wasn't it, Rui?"

"Yes. It wasn't like this the last time I was there," he replied. He picked up a piece of fish and continued eating as if nothing had happened, leaving Tsukushi feeling stupidly awkward for bringing Shizuka up.

As dinner went by, Mama and Papa moved onto other topics for discussion, and Tsukushi found herself free to ask Rui what she had been meaning to ask him on the plane. Once she was sure Mama and Papa were not listening in (they were talking about how Susumu's day at school was, and Mama was simultaneously complaining about the rising price of eggs), Tsukushi asked, "Rui, I've been meaning to ask you this..."

She hesitated.

_Was it a good idea to even bring this up?_

But her desire for an answer to her question was much greater than her desire not to hurt Rui's feelings.

"Mmm?" replied Rui, his mouth full of rice. He indicated that he was listening to her.

"It's just that I was thinking," began Tsukushi, trying to sound nonchalant. "How did you manage to maintain a long distance relationship with Shizuka?"

"Huh?" said Rui, surprised. Tsukushi could tell that she had dropped it like a bolt from the blue, because Rui accidentally spat out some of his rice.

"Well, you know," continued Tsukushi hurriedly, whilst trying to maintain that casual tone of voice that she thought she was holding so well onto. "You're the only one I can think of that has had a long distance relationship, and I was wondering if you had any pointers for me. Yeah! That's all! Ha ha ha!"

Tsukushi forced out a jovial laugh, though, obviously, the intuitive Rui did not buy it. For a moment, he stared at her, sizing her up, before he asked bluntly, "Are you having relationship problems with Tsukasa?"

It was Tsukushi's turn to choke on her food. He had almost hit bullseye with that one.

"Well, no," began Tsukushi truthfully, wiping the food from the side of her mouth in an effort to maintain dignity. She knew that Domyouji still loved her as much as she loved him. "It's just that ... I get the feeling that we are growing apart because we barely have time to talk to each other. The busy schedules that we have, the differences in time zone, and even the distance between us - I thought our love would be strong enough to completely overcome these barriers, but I can see I was wrong. And without communication, any relationship between two people is bound to break down, no matter how strong..."

Rui paused thoughtfully for a moment as he chewed on his food. After he had swallowed it and cleared his voice, he replied, "I think you're asking the wrong person for advice, Makino."

"Why? But you and Shizuka -"

Rui smiled wanly at her. "To begin with, it wasn't really long distance, nor was it much of a relationship. It was just my one sided infatuation with Shizuka; it _would've_ been a relationship if she had reciprocated my feelings. Secondly, it was only long distance for the shortest period of time before you encouraged me and I moved over to Paris to be with her."

"Oh," said Tsukushi, downcast. She couldn't hide her disappointment; she had expected the level-headed Rui to be able to give her sound advice.

"I wish I could use my experience to help you," said Rui ruefully. "But as you encouraged me to go after Shizuka back then, I can only give you back your own advice. You can't be content just sitting here and waiting for him to come back. Go after Tsukasa."

"I can't move to New York," sighed Tsukushi. "You know that. Who's going to support the family if I go? We'll be one source of income short, and on top of that, my family will have to support my living in a foreign country, which will make us further poorer than we need to be."

"I'm sure Tsukasa can support you," teased Rui, his eyes twinkling. "He'll be over the moon if you were there with him."

"Domyouji's my boyfriend, not my bank account," Tsukushi said flatly.

"I almost forgot how stubborn you were, after not going to school with you for a year," said Rui, smiling mischievously at her. "Perhaps its because, with Tsukasa gone, you have no one to argue with and no one to be stubborn against."

"Ha ha ha. I still have the cronies at Eitoku to vent my anger against."

The dinner went on without incidence until Rui picked up a piece of luncheon meat. Staring in fascination at the piece of meat held delicately between his pair of chopsticks, Rui asked, "Is this edible?"

Tsukushi sprayed her rice all over Papa's face.

Once she had recovered from the sheer absurdity of Rui's question, she answered, "Well, it is. It's just different bits of meat from different parts of different animals that's been processed in a factory and flavoured."

As an afterthought, she added, "It's also highly nutritious and good value for a family on a budget."

"Wow," said Rui, placing it gently on top of his rice as he stared at it in wide eyed wonderment. "I never knew such things existed!"

_Rich people have probably never eaten anything processed in a factory_, thought Tsukushi.

After looking at it for a little bit longer, Rui took a bite of it. He chewed it for a while before commenting, "You have many exotic foods here."

"Yes, yes," said Mama looking very pleased. She seemed to have taken Rui's judgment of luncheon meat a bit too personally. "And you're more than welcome to come anytime for dinner and try as many exotic dishes as you want!"

"I'd be honoured to," answered Rui politely.

"Mama, stop deceiving Rui into thinking that what we eat is exotic!" scowled Tsukushi.

Dinner was soon over, and before Rui could leave to catch up on his beauty sleep, Papa had stopped him to play more card games. It was revenge for winning him last time, Papa had said. But deep down, Tsukushi knew that Papa and Susumu enjoyed Rui's company very much.

When Rui first came over to Tsukushi's house because he had been worried about how she was coping after Tsukasa left for New York, Mama and Papa had treated him as if he were a second Domyouji; a bank account of sorts, some kind of financial backup just in case Tsukushi's relationship with Domyouji failed. They wined and dined him, much to Rui's amusement and Tsukushi's annoyance.

But as her family grew to know him better, Rui was treated more like a person that a stash of wealth. Although Mama still looked at him as if he were a walking money tree, Papa had grown to be particularly fond of Rui; Rui played the games with Papa that Tsukushi and even Susumu refused to. Tsukushi had told Rui that he could decline playing those childish games with Papa if he wanted to, but soon, she realised that Rui enjoyed playing games with Papa too - he had said it made him feel warm in a way that he didn't feel at his own home.

"I wish I could play games with my father just like how I play games with Papa," Rui had once told her. "I guess that's why I like coming here. Your family is full of warmth."

Tsukushi had never realised how much his home environment had shaped Rui into who he was today. As she came to think about it, she had never caught a glimpse of his parents before in his cold, silent home.

"Plus," Rui had added mischievously. "Mama and Papa are funny. I wish my parents were as rolly-polly."

Looking at Rui's lithe figure as he played snap with Papa and Susumu, Tsukushi chuckled. She had to admit it was probably true; his parents were probably _not_ rolly-polly, considering how tall and thin Rui was. She resumed checking her email, which she had commenced straight after dinner. There was, as she had expected, no new emails from Domyouji, despite her click the refresh button continuously.

_He's probably not back yet_, she thought. _Or he's probably too busy._

Closing her laptop shut, she joined the three of them in their game of snap. Time flew by quickly as they were having fun; and at the end of the night, Rui, had, of course, won most games. Papa complained that it was because Rui had longer arms and so he could stretch further; Tsukushi told Papa he lost because he had slow reflexes.

"I should be going now," said Rui, getting up and grabbing his jacket. "Thank you for letting me stay over."

"It was our pleasure," chorused the adoring Makino family, much to Tsukushi's disgust.

"I'll walk you out," said Tsukushi, pulling her shoes on and shooing Rui out before her family could set Rui up on a pedestal to be worshipped. Together, they stepped out into the cool night breeze. Because Tsukushi lived on the outskirts of the city, it was much quieter here at night. They walked slowly, side by side, in a comfortable silence only broken by the sound of insects humming.

"How'd you feel when you saw Shizuka getting married to another man?" asked Tsukushi. This question had been irking her, but she wasn't sure if it had been right to ask him when they were in France in front of the F3, or in front of her family. Now seemed to be a good opportunity when they were both alone and had no other topic of conversation.

Rui paused for a moment. "Akira and Soujiro asked exactly the same thing, so I'll tell you what I told them. The truth is, I didn't feel anything."

"Oh," said Tsukushi, relieved, though not entirely convinced. She didn't want to see him spiralling into the strange defensive mechanism of trying to find comfort in other girls as he had the last time he found that Shizuka had no interest in him, yet she had the feeling that he had long forgotten Shizuka.

"In fact," continued Rui slowly. "I was actually very happy to see Shizuka marry someone she loved very much. Because she was happy, I was happy. But do you want to know what the strangest thing is?"

"What?" asked Tsukushi, curious.

Rui didn't answer her immediately. It was then that they reached his car. His back was towards her, and Tsukushi noticed that Rui's hand was shaking as he grasped the handle of the door.

"I didn't feel anything when I saw Shizuka looking her very best, about to marry another man."

He paused.

"But when I saw you and Tsukasa kissing..."

He turned around to her; Tsukushi noticed that there was a twinge of melancholy marring his usually impassive face as he averted his gaze from her.

"...I felt ... jealous."

Tsukushi felt her heart racing and her cheeks heating up, though Rui's face had once again become impassive. The two of them just stood there, staring at each other as if the flow of time had stopped. Despite being outside in the cool of the night, the atmosphere felt strangely heavy.

A look of enlightenment dawned on Rui's face; it looked as if he had just realised something.

"Perhaps... I am still in love with you."

* * *

_To be continued..._

Any feedback is appreciated, whether it be I made some sort of grammatical boo boo or if the spaces between my words were eaten by the hungry delete key.

I need a beta reader who will slap me if my characters go OOC. Please:)

Notes:

1. Tsukushi was hesitant to discuss any subject matter relating to Shizuka because she, unlike the F3, was not there when they heard that Rui had no hard feelings about Shizuka marrying.


	2. Perhaps

Disclaimer: Hi. HYD does not belong to me :O

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Onkiu

_Chapter 2: Perhaps_

* * *

Tsukushi simply stood there, stunned. 

Was that a confession of love that she had just heard?

She had thought that his feelings for her had long ceased; she had thought that his last confession, ironically, in New York, was now void. She had thought that, just as he had given up on Shizuka because she did not return his feelings, he, too, would have given up on her when she chose Domyouji over him.

How very wrong she had been.

"I see. That must be it," said Rui aloud, in wide-eyed wonderment, more as confirmation to himself than for Tsukushi's benefit. "It must be love."

He turned and smiled at her. It was an intriguing smile; Tsukushi had to admit that even though she had long gone over her infatuation over him, that smile made her heart melt. His marble like eyes glistened.

Tsukushi was aware that her face was now a horrible shade of red, and was secretly thankful that it was night time and that her street had few street lights. She felt herself stuttering as she tried to string her words together and pull together an appropriate response to Rui; yet it was to no avail. She was simply tongue-tied from this stunning revelation.

"See you soon," said Rui, smiling, oblivious to dilemma Tsukushi was now facing. He gave her a wave and was about to get into the car when Tsukushi finally recovered from the shock.

"R-Rui!"

"Yes?" enquired Rui, turning around.

"I'll have you know!" said Tsukushi stoutly, crossing her arms in what she hoped would look like a firm stance despite the fact that it was too dark for Rui to notice much. "The one I love is Domyouji!"

"I know," Rui chuckled. "And as long as you're happy with him, I am happy - for you."

He got in and waved at her before his limousine drove off, leaving Tsukushi lost in thought in the middle of the quiet street.

* * *

Tsukushi knew that, deep in her heart, the one she loved, the one she wanted to be with was Domyouji. Yet Rui's confession, especially at a time like this, left her very shaken in her resolve. He admitted that he still harboured a deep love for her at the time that she was most lonely, at a time when she most needed companionship. 

He had given her support at a time when she most needed it; after all, she had just settled into a new home, graduated from Eitoku, had started a new job and her boyfriend had just moved away - it was a period of drastic changes for her, and he was by her side, supporting her every move.

But while Rui had supported her firmly, he had now shaken her very core.

He had shaken her very staunch belief that she and Domyouji could hold together for the four years that they were apart. He had shaken her belief that the strong love between her and Domyouji will not crumble even under the pressure of time and distance. He had shaken the belief that the only one she needed was Domyouji.

Perhaps, she was starting to have doubts in herself.

Perhaps, she, too, still had feelings for Rui, despite her denials.

Perhaps he was the very reason she was so reluctant join Domyouji in New York, despite his numerous offers.

Tsukushi soon found that she had no time to entertain such worrying thoughts. For the remainder of her holidays, she had immersed herself in a few holiday jobs, earning as much money as she could to support her family for the rest of the semester that she couldn't work. By the time semester started, she had earned enough money to make a decent contribution to the family income.

Her first day of uni, of course, was a disaster. When she had thought she had left all that hazing behind, she soon realised how very wrong she was. Most of the students from Eitoku academy went on to study at Eitoku University, and she knew very well that they'd sooner forget their history than she'd lick their boots. On her very first day there, she had somehow managed to collide with the Asai clique, whom she had actually long forgotten about. They made certain snide comments about her choice of clothing, to which she responded with a rather threatening kick. That, of course, had scared them off, much to the amusement of her friends who were watching behind her.

"She hasn't changed, has she?" murmured Akira.

"No, not at all," muttered Soujiro, stunned at how high her legs can kick. "How can she bend them like that? It's just... wow."

"Tsukushi... you're amazing!" gushed an absolutely rapt Kazuya, staring at her in awe and amazement. Rui simply looked on, amused.

Tsukushi gave them a wave and grinned back at them sheepishly. It sure felt good to take on Eitoku again, especially when she had her friends behind her, supporting her all the way. She walked back over to them, where Soujiro gave her a congratulatory slap on the back for her first victory.

"Let's go out for lunch to celebrate Makino's first day back," said Soujiro.

"Sorry, but I can't go," said Tsukushi. "I have class in around ten minutes."

Much as she'd love to catch up with her friends, it had been her lifelong dream to attend university. She certainly wasn't going to miss out on her first day when she could have lunch with them at another time, and she certainly wasn't going to put Domyouji's gift of education to waste either.

Plus, it wasn't exactly as if she had the money to go anyway.

"But what's there to learn anyway?" cried Soujiro, aghast at the prospect of going to class.

"Just because _you_ don't have to learn because you can get a job without the qualifications," muttered Tsukushi scathingly.

"Oh, I'm hurt," Soujiro smirked seductively. "It certainly can't be helped that some good looking people were born with perfect knowledge of the syllabus."

Tsukushi couldn't help but notice how odd the 'good looking people' sounded when placed in such a context.

"Change of plans, then, since the guest of honour won't be attending," said Akira. "Let's hit a bar instead."

"Sure," said Soujiro, "Wanna come, Rui?"

"No, thanks," replied Rui bluntly.

"Suit yourself then," said Soujiro, shrugging. "See you guys later!"

As he and Akira were about to walk off, Kazuya cried out, "Hey, what about me?"

"What about you?" questioned Akira.

"Why aren't I invited?"

"Because - you're not cool," answered Soujiro wryly.

"But I thought we were friends!" wailed Kazuya. The corner of his mouth twitched, and it looked as if he were about to burst into tears.

Tsukushi left them to their own devices just as they began arguing about who was friends with who. Rummaging through her bag, she pulled out a map of the Eitoku University campus and looked for where her very first class was as she walked down a wide, tree-lined path.

"Building 4... building 4... it's --"

"-- here?"

A long, slender finger pointed to the exact location from behind her. Swiveling around in surprise, she found that the one pointing her in the right direction was none other than Rui.

"Rui? What are you doing here?"

"My class is in this direction too," said Rui, smiling.

"You go to class?!" asked Tsukushi, surprised.

"Why not? There's comfortable seating and the lectures help me go to sleep."

Tsukushi snorted.

"I kinda expected you to fall asleep, but not in class," reminisced Tsukushi. "Don't you usually go home or go to the emergency staircase to do that?"

"Oh!" said Rui, who had suddenly been reminded of something. "Speaking of emergency staircases, there's something I'd like to show you."

"What is it?"

"You'll see soon," said Rui mysteriously. "Would you be able to come with me for a few minutes?"

Tsukushi hesitated. She really wanted to go to her first class; she even skipped lunch with her friends to go. But with Rui, it had always been a special case. The emergency staircase held fond memories that were very dear to her. Fond memories that she treasured. Fond memories of the only good times she had in Eitoku Academy.

Fond memories of the very first time she ever fell in love.

_There you go again, Tsukushi,_ she thought, pinching herself. _You can refuse to go to lunch with friends just because you want to go to your first class at a prestigious university, but you can never refuse Rui when he asks you to do exactly the same thing._

It was then that it hit her.

_Rui is special to you, isn't he?_

She simply could not refuse Rui's request.

"Sure," she blurted, before she could stop herself or remind herself that the only man that can be that special to her should be Domyouji.

Rui beamed at her. Together, they made their way down the wide path in a surprisingly comfortable silence. Tsukushi had expected it to be awkward, given what he had confessed to her recently; yet the atmosphere between them was relaxed. Perhaps it was the fact that she could never feel uncomfortable around Rui, even if he said things like that - he was so unassuming. He would never impose his feelings on her in the same way that Domyouji did; he would not aggressively, proactively pursue her in the same way that Domyouji would.

Every now and again, Tsukushi would sneak a glance at Rui. He was looking straight ahead, smiling pleasantly at the weather, humming a soft tune. She couldn't help but notice how at peace, how... _angelic._... he looked.

_Tsukushi! What are you doing, thinking such things?! _

Tsukushi mentally slapped herself for letting her mind wander like that.

He led her into a building in a quieter corner of the campus, turning here and there around corridors before Rui found the emergency exit three levels above the ground. He pushed open the doors and Tsukushi found themselves back outside.

"Tada!" said Rui, glowing with pride as he presented the emergency staircase. "See this? It's my new emergency staircase."

Although this would never be able to replace the original, Tsukushi found the staircase to be of similar character to the one at Eitoku Academy. The building, one of the lesser used ones, was in an undisturbed location, such that the hustle and bustle of university life did not quite reach them. They were also three levels above the ground, and the staircase offered them a sweeping panorama of the campus.

"This is great!" said Tsukushi, leaning against the railings and breathing in the full view that it had to offer.

"I knew you'd like it," smiled Rui. "This place is my sanctuary."

"Your sanctuary?"

"Mm hmm," murmured Rui. "Before I found this place, I would often walk back to Eitoku Academy just so I can be back at my old emergency staircase."

"That's quite a long walk," said Tsukushi, mentally mapping out the shortest route from Eitoku University to Eitoku Academy.

"But it was all worth it. I did it in the hopes of seeing you."

Tsukushi swiveled around in surprise. She had not expected him to say that at all.

"But whenever I visited, you were never there," he continued. "So after a while, I gave up. Then I found this place."

"Sorry," replied Tsukushi sheepishly. "After you graduated, I never went back because I didn't expect for anyone to be there."

"That's alright. You're here now, and that's all that matters."

Tsukushi couldn't help but feel her cheeks warm up in pleasure. It felt good to know how appreciated she was.

The few minutes that she had promised Rui to come and see his new emergency staircase soon turned into a few hours, which resulted in Tsukushi missing out on all her classes on her first day at Eitoku University. She found herself unable to leave as she told him about all her private concerns - Rui was a very good listener. Even though he frequently visited her at home, she would be far too busy trying to finish this or that; but now, she had the chance to talk to her heart's content.

"I'd always dreamt about going to University," said Tsukushi. By now, she had been telling Rui about her dreams for the past hour or so. She leant back comfortably against the railing, sitting across the floor from Rui, who was nestled in a nook between the wall and the stairs, listening intently. "Before I went to Eitoku, those dreams just had me in it, studying, getting my degree, graduating. But after I met Domyouji, I would see him appear in it as well. We'd study together. We'd walk to classes together. I'd make lunch for the two of us, and we'd have... have..."

_Why are my eyes tearing up?_

She paused, and tried to swallow the lump that had somehow managed to build up in her throat. In her suddenly blurred vision, fogged by her tears, she noticed Rui's face looking at her in surprise.

"What's wrong, Makino?" cried Rui, jumping up, alarmed.

"N-Nothing," lied Tsukushi. "I'm alright. Really."

She forced a brave smile, and tried to blink back her tears. Unfortunately, it had the effect of rolling down her cheeks.

"Makino..."

Before her mind could register, Rui had pulled her into a warm embrace. She found herself wrapped in his arms, breathing in his clean, crisp scent.

"Makino... you're not alright," he murmured, stroking her hair.

Tsukushi found that she was no longer able to contain her sadness as she broke down, sobbing into Rui's designer shirt. Although she was a strong girl, even a year's worth of accumulated loneliness and hurt could tear her heart apart.

"It... it's just that... it's just that I never realised how much I missed him," she hiccoughed. "I... I tried to charge on bravely with daily life, but I didn't realise how much it hurts when he's not there beside me..."

Rui pulled her back to arm's length, holding her by the shoulder. For a split second, he looked intently into her eyes before he gently cupped her face in his hands. Slowly, he wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, I will always be here beside you."

Tsukushi was struck with the realisation that Rui _had_ always been there beside her whenever she needed his support. From her very first days when she was bullied at Eitoku, he had been there, defending her. From the time Domyouji tried to kick her out of school, he had been there, defending her. From the time Domyouji's mother had forcibly tried to get him engaged to Shigeru, he had been there for her, holding her hand. From the time Domyouji had lost his memory, he had been there, defending her.

Rui had always been there for her.

"I'm sorry," sighed Tsukushi, feeling much better after letting it all out. "I'm always complaining to you, aren't -"

In an unprecedented move, Rui suddenly bent forward and planted his lips on hers. It was a soft and gentle kiss. In Tsukushi's shock, she found her mind screaming out 'No!' but her heart was... _melting_. Her heart was... yearning for more. It felt as if his kiss was gently healing her broken heart, mending the hole that Domyouji's absence had left in.

But as swiftly as it started, he quickly pulled away, leaving her with the very worrying thought that perhaps, just perhaps, Rui could fill the hole that Domyouji had left.

Perhaps, she had more than just friendly feelings towards Rui.

_Perhaps, I am in love with him as well._

"Rui..." whispered Tsukushi, touching her lips in surprise. His kiss had left her lips tingling with a transient sensation.

"So," continued Rui nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened. "What were we talking about?"

* * *

Rui had an uncanny knack for acting as if something major was no big deal. For the rest of the day, he continued to chat as though everything was fine between them even though Tsukushi couldn't help but blush and stutter awkwardly every time she recalled what he had just done to her. 

Soon, what was meant to be Tsukushi's first day attending University was over. As she was about to bid Rui farewell and leave for home so she could catch up on the work from the classes she had missed today, Rui said, "Can I come over for dinner?"

"What?!"

"I want to try more exotic foods," said Rui stoutly.

"What exot- oh, you mean canned food?"

"What's canned food?"

"Nevermind..."

Papa was absolutely delighted when Rui turned up with Tsukushi at their door later that evening. With Papa, she could never tell what exactly he was delighted with. He _could_ be delighted to see Tsukushi and Rui turn up _together_; but later she realised he was simply pleased to see Rui again.

"Papa!" said Rui.

"Hanazawa Rui!" cried Papa, leaping into Rui's open arms.

Papa quickly challenged Rui to an new card game that he had recently learnt from an acquaintance, claiming that he finally had a chance of winning against Rui. Rui coolly told Papa that there was no such chance, given his poor track record. Tsukushi left them to their own as she turned on her laptop in the hopes of seeing Domyouji online.

To her surprise, Domyouji _was_ indeed online, and Tsukushi had to quickly reposition the laptop such that Rui and Papa's card game would not be transmitted to New York.

Her heart skipped a beat when his face finally appeared on her screen.

"_Hey. How was your first day at Uni?_" asked Domyouji.

"It was great!" lied Tsukushi. "I'm learning heaps. Domyouji..."

"_What is it?_"

"...Thank you."

"_As long as you're enjoying it,_" yawned Domyouji, stretching against an armchair. Then he snickered, "_Anyway, you seem to have improved at positioning the laptop. I can see your whole face now._"

"Shut up," said Tsukushi flatly. "Anyway, how about you? How was your day?"

"_Tiring. Busy. Full of work,_" he sighed. "_Had to give a presentation today. I don't know why, but some people laughed when I said something that wasn't meant to be funny._"

"You probably got your vocabulary mixed up... again."

"_What do you mean, again?_" scowled Domyouji indignantly.

Tsukushi giggled. "I would've thought that your vocabulary would have improved."

"_A genius like me --_"

To Tsukushi's surprise, Domyouji suddenly stopped. His arrogant smirk slowly twisted into a murderous stare as his face suddenly darkened.

"What... what's wrong?" asked Tsukushi, perplexed, before she noticed the shadow being cast over her laptop. Turning around, she noticed that Rui had entered Domyouji's field of vision from behind her, and a dreaded feeling of deja vu swept over her.

"_What on earth is Rui doing at your place?!_"

"Hi, Tsukasa," Rui nodded curtly at the webcam. Tsukushi was a bit surprised by his tone.

"_Makino! Do you have some kind of explanation for this?!_" Domyouji's murderous look suddenly turned into an angry outburst. "_I thought that you were long over your infertility!_"

"You mean infidelity?" sighed Tsukushi.

"_Whatever! Rui -- what the hell are you doing in _**my** _girlfriend's home?!_"

"I have every right to be here, because this is her home, not yours," stated Rui coldly. Tsukushi was becoming increasingly confused with Rui's sudden change in attitude towards Domyouji. "You have no right to decide whether I can be here or not, especially since you have hurt Tsukushi so much."

Tsukushi quickly averted her gaze from the laptop. She had not wanted Domyouji to know that she had been crying over him, and had not in the least expected Rui to be telling that to Domyouji. Registering the fact that Rui referred to Tsukushi a bit too intimately by her first name, Domyouji looked ready to strangle Rui.

"You've made her cry over you," Rui continued relentlessly.

For a moment, Domyouji looked remorseful, but his remorse was crushed by what Rui had to say next.

"I love Tsukushi..."

Tsukushi gasped. She could never have imagined that Rui would dare to admit that to Domyouji's face.

"... and I am going to take her away from you."

* * *

_To be continued..._

So, how was it? I usually write humour fics -- this is the first time I've tried my hand at writing something so melodramatic, so I'm a newbie at this. Please tell me how I'm doing! All feedback appreciated, especially about how I can improve!


	3. Until it's too late

Disclaimer: Hi. HYD does not belong to me :O

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Onkiu

_Chapter 3: Until it's too late_

* * *

Rui's outburst weighed strongly on Tsukushi's mind for a good part of the week. He was becoming increasingly like a tightly wrapped gift as she tried to figure him out, trying to unravel the workings of his mind. Yet, Rui remained an enigma to her, and so she sought the knowledge of those who knew him best.

"For as long as I knew him, Rui's been quiet and introverted," said Soujiro. "When we were kids, Tsukasa would be the loud and aggressive one, fighting for everything and anything. Rui was cold, and he barely spoke unless it was necessary."

After much consideration about whether she could trust them enough, she had asked Soujiro and Akira to come with her to a cafe because she had something she wanted to ask them. She had sworn them to secrecy before she told them of the matter, though she still had that uneasy feeling that they just might tell the whole world.

"If there was something that both of them wanted, Rui would usually give it up for Tsukasa because he didn't really care. That's just how he is -- apathetic," said Akira, aimlessly crushing the fruit in his drink with his spoon.

"But for him to get so worked up like this is pretty rare," said Soujiro.

"To make him so angry that he would actually fight Tsukasa over you _does_ take a bit of effort," concluded Akira. "That must mean he is very passionate about you."

"W...What?!" cried Tsukushi.

_This isn't something that they're meant to know!_

"Come to think of it, I really do think Rui likes you," mused Soujiro. "The only times I've seen him so infuriated all somehow involved you."

"Remember that time that Tsukasa set a red tag on Kazuya all on his own?" said Akira, turning to Soujiro.

"Of course, of course," nodded Soujiro sagely. "How can I forget? That idiot went off without consulting us first."

"Makino and Kazuya came running over to Eitoku University," continued Akira. He paused, then added, slyly, "Covered in egg yolk."

Tsukushi groaned. She certainly didn't want to be reminded of how embarrassing that time was -- especially since it was her first encounter with Shizuka.

"It's nutritious, especially for the hair," murmured Tsukushi feebly.

"But then Rui actually lost his temper and yelled at the everyone," said Soujiro, ignoring Tsukushi's weak defense. "_Especially with Tsukasa."_

Tsukushi blushed as she recalled what happened. Yes -- Rui had lost his temper with Domyouji. He had also lifted her up in his surprisingly thin arms. At that moment, he had seemed to her like a prince on a white horse, coming to her rescue -- and she, despite being covered with rubbish, felt very much like a princess.

"Then there was that time that Tsukasa lost his memory," said Akira, ticking it off with his fingers. "Rui yelled at everyone because they weren't considering how you felt. He was so cold to that Umi girl and he even went as far as to punch Tsukasa."

Tsukushi couldn't forget that. There, when she had lost all hope, Rui had jumped to her defense, berating everyone.

_And there was also that time in New York that neither of them know about_, thought Tsukushi. _Where Rui criticised Domyouji for not protecting me. Where he punched Domyouji. _

_Where he told Domyouji that he loved me. _

_Where he took Domyouji's blow._

"You know, I don't think Rui simply likes Makino," said Akira, sipping on the last of his drink. "I think he is deeply passionate about her."

Rui had, in the past few weeks, had told her that he loved her -- twice, yet she was still trying to come to grips with it -- especially since her heart was now torn between Domyouji and Rui.

"You guys -- promise not to tell anyone about it? Especially not Domyouji and Rui!"

"Your secret's safe with us," winked Akira.

"Trust us," grinned Soujiro. "We know when to keep our mouths shut."

* * *

"Rui... hey, Rui!" huffed Soujiro as he and Akira tried to catch up to Rui, who was walking along the main road of the campus at a brisk pace.

"What?"

Rui stopped in the middle of the road.

"Did you tell Makino that you loved her?" panted Soujiro as he tried to catch his breath.

Rui turned around, not the least surprised, and paused, looking up and down at Soujiro.

"Yes."

"And... did you tell Tsukasa that you loved her?"

"Yes."

"And that you were going to take her away from him?"

"I did."

"Argh, Rui!" groaned Soujiro, slapping his forehead. "You know better than to do something as stupid as that! That's just asking to get yourself killed!"

"If it makes Makino happy, I won't mind," said Rui simply. He resumed walking.

"Why did you have to provoke Tsukasa like that?" asked Akira. "You know how obsessed he is with Makino -- he's probably going to come charging back to Japan any time soon!"

"All the better," said Rui. "Have you seen how sad and hurt Tsukushi is over the past year? She misses him terribly. He needs some prodding or else he wouldn't know to treasure her until it's too late."

Soujiro and Akira fell silent at the last bit Rui had just said.

"He wouldn't know to treasure her _until it's too late_?" echoed Akira hollowly.

"Don't... don't tell me you were seriously planning to take her away from him," whispered Soujiro.

"What I told him wasn't a lie," shrugged Rui. "I only held myself back because, as long as Tsukushi's happy and as long as I can see her smile, I'm happy. But she's unhappy, and I know she's cried over him. It had been her dream to go to university with him. It was then that I thought, if this is how he makes the woman he loves happy, I can do a better job."

"Have you considered how Tsukasa feels about all this?" stated Akira evenly. "Don't forget that she's _his_ girlfriend, and that you _are_ his friend. What you're doing is taking advantage of a _childhood friend _in his absence."

"Have you considered how _I_ feel about all this?" replied Rui. "I'm tired of watching. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of giving everything up for Tsukasa. Don't forget -- I love Tsukushi too, and I have every right to pursue the one I love. Just whose side are you on, anyway?"

Akira pursed his lips.

"You're both our friends. We're not on anyone's side. It's just that I'd hate for two of my friends to be fighting over the same girl -- again."

* * *

When Tsukushi arrived at university the next day, she found the campus decorated with new posters advertising the upcoming faculty fundraising ball. The ball soon became the new subject of talk and gossip of the students at the university.

A crowd of students had gathered around a poster tacked to the gigantic bulletin board.

_Fundraising ball, huh,_ scoffed Tsukushi inwardly, as she pushed through the crowd of students to get a better look at the poster. _As if a University as rich as this needs fundraising. More like an excuse to stimulate the superficial social life of the students here._

Yet Tsukushi's curiosity got the better of her, and she couldn't help but to continue reading it.

"'A magical night at the grand function room at the Kaede Hotel. Ticket prices start from --' No way!" gasped Tsukushi, cursing aloud. _That's equivalent to a month's worth of my wage!_

Looking at horror at the sheer amount of money that the students at Eitoku University had to burn, she slowly backed away from the bulletin board as if the frivolity it was advertising was infectious, only to bump into some people behind her.

"Sorry," she muttered to the person. She looked up to realise it was only Soujiro.

"Hey, Makino!" said Soujiro cheerfully. "How's it going?"

Nishikaido Soujiro had come to the bulletin board to the delight of the student body that had gathered there to read the poster. Girls started whipping their phones out, snapping pictures of him, and Tsukushi could see his ego-meter filling up rapidly as he smirked at the adoring crowd.

"Nothing much," answered Tsukushi, feigning nonchalance as she tried to hide the shock she received from the huge sum of money she just saw scribbled on the poster. "What are you doing here?"

"More importantly," coughed Soujiro, diverting her question. "What are _you_ doing on the night of the ball?"

"Nothing, I guess," answered Tsukushi gloomily. "Probably finishing off some study?"

"Good, good," said Soujiro grandly, "If it's study, you can put it off, because you're going to the ball with us."

"Since when?" said Tsukushi, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Since I bought your ticket for you," he said, pulling it out of his pocket. "Of course," he continued, before Tsukushi could protest, "You can pay me back any time you want since you don't like accepting favours."

"Who said I was going to pay you back?" retorted Tsukushi. "I'm not going."

"Aww, c'mon," pleaded Soujiro. "For old time's sake, okay?"

Tsukushi pursed her lips. They _were_ her friends, after all, and she _did_ decline their offer to go to lunch the first time.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I _really _don't have the money to go to the ball."

Somewhere behind her, she could hear some of the students snicker, but she chose to ignore them.

"I was kidding about paying me back," said Soujiro. "As if I care about chump change like that. We just want you to come!"

"But I don't like dancing," declared Tsukushi, remembering the last ball she went to -- the graduation ball where Soujiro and Akira attempted to teach her to dance.

"We're not going to force you to dance," laughed Soujiro. "The thing is, Rui won't come if you don't come."

"Why?"

"He said that Akira and I are just gonna go off to hunt girls and leave him at the table by himself with no one to talk to. You know Rui; there's not many people he talks to. We thought that if you come, he'll definitely come since he talks to you a lot."

Tsukushi sighed. She had, after all, missed their lunch; she owed them as much. Succumbing to peer pressure, she replied, "Okay. I'll go... for _your_ sake. You'd better remember that!"

"You're a real darling, you know?" snickered Soujiro, ruffling her hair in a mock affectionate gesture. "It's no wonder that Tsukasa and Rui are so fond of you. Perhaps I should join the fray too."

* * *

After class, Tsukushi found herself automatically walking towards the emergency staircase. She was quite used to doing that during her high school years; and old habits die hard. When she arrived there, she found Rui already seated against the wall, reading a novel.

"Hey," he smiled, upon noticing her arrival. "How are you?"

Tsukushi was surprised at how nonchalant he could be despite the fact that he had just challenged Domyouji's authority. _Did he already forget the last time that he defied Domyouji and had nearly been kicked out of school?_

"Hi Rui," said Tsukushi. "I can't believe it! You're going to the ball! I thought you didn't like dancing!"

"I don't. I'm only going because Soujiro said that you were going to be bored if I didn't go."

"What the -- but I'm only going because Nishikaido said _you_ were going to be bored if _I_ didn't go," replied Tsukushi.

There was a moment's silence as the two of them thought about the very different stories they had been told.

"Hmm," murmured Rui thoughtfully. "Seems like we've been had."

"Oh my goodness!" cried Tsukushi, tearing her hair out upon realising what had happened. "That bastard! He's playing the matchmaking fairy godmother again, isn't he? He tricked us!"

Rui merely chuckled.

Yet, deep inside him, something about him felt strange.

Rui was not usually fond of balls or anything that involved large crowds of people.

Yet, why did he feel a small desire to go to the ball?

His eye glazed over as he stared at the girl smiling and laughing in front of him.

_Was it because of her?_

* * *

The day of the ball soon came by without Tsukushi even realising it; she had been so immersed in her studies that she nearly forgot about it. Having only remembered it a few hours before the actual ball, Tsukushi rushed home from university with a few library books under her arms. Dropping them onto the floor, she ran over to her closet, stuck her head inside and rummaged through it, searching for her one and only formal dress.

Hearing the ruckus Tsukushi was causing in as she raided the wardrobe in her panic, Mama came out of the kitchen with a spatula in one hand and a frying pan in the other.

"Stop, thief!"

"What?!" came Tsukushi's muffled cry from inside the wardrobe. "Where?!"

"Oh, it's only you," said Mama, looking disappointed. It seemed as though she had almost hoped that there was a thief there. "What are you doing, causing this riot?"

"I have to go to a ball in two hours time!" wailed Tsukushi, her bum the only bit sticking out visibly from the closet as it wiggled back and forth. "I totally forgot about it! Mama, help me find my formal dress!"

Upon hearing the mention of the word 'ball', Mama instantly forgot Tsukushi's plea for help.

"Ball? With who?"

A loud sigh came audibly from the closet.

"No one," said Tsukushi, finally re-emerging from her closet, looking rather triumphant with her formal dress draped over one arm. Her hair was now a dishevelled mess.

"No one, eh?" smirked Mama. "It won't be 'no one' after I work my love magic on you!"

"Love magic?" repeated Tsukushi hollowly. Somehow, something about Mama's love magic did not sound right.

"They don't call me the Madame le Aishiteru for nothing."

"Since when did 'they' call you that?! And what the hell does that even mean?"

"You'll see," cackled Mama evilly, feigning mystery.

Tsukushi had a quick shower before pulling the dress on. Coming out of the bathroom, she noticed that Mama had set up a mini-makeup salon in their cramped kitchen.

"What the --" began Tsukushi, as she dried her hair with a towel. She had no idea that Mama, a thrifty housewife living tightly on a budget, actually owned so much brand name makeup. Knowing Mama, she had probably haggled the whole lot.

"Come, come, take a seat, my love," said Mama, who had somehow managed to dress herself up like a horribly ill-guised gypsy. "Let Mama work her magic on you, and before you know it, you'll have _rich _guys on their knees begging for your mercy."

Tsukushi rolled her eyes at the particular emphasis Mama placed and her overuse of the word magic. But knowing very well that she was rather unskilled at doing her own makeup, Tsukushi reluctantly took the seat facing Mama.

"Are you sure your, uh, 'magic' works?" asked Tsukushi doubtfully.

"Of course it works," said Mama, brushing off Tsukushi's reservations with a wave of her hand. "This is how I won your Papa over! Of course, natural beauty had something to do with it too..."

Resigned to her fate - that she would never be able to afford to go to a proper make-up salon - she made do with the second best thing: getting her Mama to do it for her. She closed her eyes as she allowed Mama to brush on this and that.

"Mmm... hurry up, Mama. I still have to catch the bus to get there on time."

"Done!" cried Mama.

Tsukushi opened her eyes and looked at the mirror that Mama was holding up in front of her.

"Mama..."

"You like it?"

"... I LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN' CLOWN!"

And indeed she did. Mama had somehow managed to dab ultra bright blue eye shadow in an unsightly circular shape around her eyes and had put extremely dazzling red lipstick on her lips. There were also fluorescent pink blotches on her cheeks in what Mama had attempted as a natural blush.

"Argh!" wailed Tsukushi in her despair. "Now I have to wash it all off _and_ redo it! I'm going to be late!"

Her state of rushed panic was soon exacerbated by the ringing of the doorbell.

_Of all the times someone had to come! _

Bolting to the door, Tsukushi opened it and snapped peevishly, "Who is it?!"

"Hello, Tsukushi."

Rui was standing at the door, dressed very handsomely in a crisp, white suit. He was also armed with a bunch of roses. Tsukushi could do nothing but gawk at this welcome -- or, for the moment, unwelcome -- sight. In her shock, she could only think of one thing.

_Of all the people to come visiting at at a time like this!_

"You, uh, look... cute," muttered Rui, trying to stifle his laughter.

"The very same to you," mumbled Tsukushi, who couldn't help but notice how very handsome he really was -- especially in a suit that, excusing the pun, suited him as such. Compared to him, she felt very inadequate -- why must Rui catch her looking like her face had just been scribbled on? "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick you up," said Rui. "How else are you going to get there?"

"I was actually thinking of taking the bus," replied Tsukushi.

"Wearing shoes like that?" frowned Rui, narrowing his eyes at the very high pair of formal shoes Tsukushi had left near the door.

"As if shoes can hurt me," huffed Tsukushi haughtily. "If Eitoku couldn't."

Secretly, Tsukushi was glad that he had come at a time like this; he had just bought her a lot more time so that she could get rid of the graffiti Mama had left on her face. She ran over to the bathroom and washed off the makeup from her face, and quickly redid the basics herself. Returning to the kitchen, she found Mama telling Rui all the talents Tsukushi possessed.

"... I've always been told that my daughter has great reproductive power. Her hips are perfect for child-bearing. It's the exact width for giving birth comfortably for up to three kids at a time," promoted Mama.

Rui nodded blankly at Mama's strange praise of her child and before Mama could continue on and tell him how great Tsukushi would be at raising children, if given the chance, she quickly grabbed Rui's arm and ushered him out. But before she could leave the house, Mama stopped her.

"You told me you didn't have a date," hissed Mama sourly. "If you did, I would've given you the full treatment -- your hair would be absolutely gorgeous."

_And luckily, I didn't tell her -- imagine what she would've done to my hair!_

"Well, I didn't," replied Tsukushi truthfully. "Until a few minutes ago."

* * *

Upon arriving at the hotel, she found Soujiro and Akira waiting for them outside. Even though they frequently lamented about how handsome they were and all the woes their fine features brought upon them, Tsukushi had to admit that there was some truth in what they often boasted (although she would never tell them) -- they were indeed very handsome looking, and their expensive designer suits flattered their tall, lithe forms.

"What took you so long?" demanded Soujiro, tapping his watch irritably. "You're late!"

"Sorry," replied Tsukushi. "Had to clean up my fac- the dishes."

"Okay, okay," Soujiro cut her off, holding his hands up as a sign of defeat to Tsukushi's commoner ways. Noticing that Tsukushi was holding a bunch of roses in her hand, he gave Akira a significant look before he handed Tsukushi and Rui their tickets. "Let's go."

The F3 (or rather, Soujiro and Akira) sauntered in, ignoring the security guards at the door, and waving and blowing kisses to their fans before seating themselves at a table for twelve.

Tsukushi followed meekly behind, as the admiring glances passed on from the F3 onto her and subsequently turned into nasty glares. Tsukushi could practically tell what they were thinking.

What on earth was that commoner doing, holding a bunch of roses -- from one of the F3?

"Ignore them," said Rui simply, almost as if he had read her mind. He slipped his arm around her protectively, almost as if he were guarding something precious as they made their way to their table, which was located adjacent to the dance floor.

"Best table in the whole damn place," said Akira proudly.

"Who are the other people sitting with us?" asked Tsukushi, looking at the twelve seats set around the circular table.

"No one," grinned Soujiro. "We booked out the whole table so we won't have any losers sitting with us."

Tsukushi nearly toppled over at the sheer amount of excess cash the F3 had to burn.

They seated themselves around the strangely empty table. The entree soon arrived and Tsukushi found herself digging straight into it, as Rui watched her, amused.

"Mmm -- this is -- mm -- deli-- mm --cious!" declared Tsukushi, between mouthfuls.

"You think everything is delicious," frowned Akira, staring disdainfully at his finely arranged food.

The main course soon arrived after that, but before Soujiro and Akira could finish it, they were already inundated with numerous dance requests from the many girls present during that night.

"Excuse us," winked Soujiro as they took their leave, a few dozen girls squealing in tow. "I cannot ignore the pleas of women who desire me."

Rui and Tsukushi were left alone at the table after that, and Rui continued to watch in silent amusement as Tsukushi feverishly chowed down her meal. Feeling more and more unnerved as she felt the intensity of his gaze, Tsukushi broke the silence by saying in an oddly bright tone, "Aren't you bored, Rui?"

"I am," he replied, as he slowly and purposefully cut his steak into tiny pieces without eating any of it.

Tsukushi was dumbfounded by the sheer honesty of his words, and wished that Rui would take the hint and continue the conversation. Once again, there was an uncomfortable silence between them.

_Say something, Tsukushi! _

"Wanna dance?" she blurted.

_Of all the things to say!_ Tsukushi thought, mentally punching herself.

"No, thanks," replied Rui flatly. "I don't like dancing."

"But you're bored, aren't you?!"

"Yes. I don't like this loud music either. It's giving me a throbbing headache."

"Yeah! Me neither!" continued Tsukushi automatically, trying to keep the flow of the conversation going because she knew full well that Rui wouldn't. "I don't like dancing, I don't like music, and I'm only here for the food because Nishikaido tricked me. But honestly, I reckon that they should change this music to something like a lullaby so it can be more soothing! Yeah!"

Rui stared at her, confused, as she herself realised that she was blabbering on about nothing.

"Are _you_ bored?" he finally concluded.

"Kinda," admitted Tsukushi. "I don't like dancing either. Apart from eating, I really don't want to stay here, especially since I was tricked into it."

To her surprise, Rui suddenly got up and pulled his coat over himself. He turned around and looked at her.

"Let's go somewhere else," said Rui. "Just the two of us."

* * *

_To be continued..._

I'm trying to build my case for RxT. Tell me if it's working :)

I totally love the Makino family -- they're utterly hilarious to write about. I really don't know why, but all my Hanadan stories seem to have a scene that has Mama holding a spatula and frying pan, one with Kazuya about to burst into tears, and one with Soujiro carrying out some ingenious plan of his.

All reviews cherished and motivate me to write faster.

I'm also wondering if I should write up notes to accompany the story... would you like notes, or do you think that the interpretation should be left up to the reader's discretion?

This was supposed to be much longer -- the next chapter was supposed to be, together with this one, one huge chapter, but I realised it was too long (and lately, I have had no time to write), so I split the original chapter three into two chapters.

Notes:

1. Rui purposely provoked Domyouji in the last chapter, as you can see, because Rui can predict that he will come flying back to Japan if Domyouji feels that Rui is such a threat. He did it so that Tsukushi could see Domyouji again, which was probably her wish.

2. Tsukushi and Domyouji are not married -- they're only in their first year of university (Tsukushi is, at the very least). This takes place one year after the end of the manga, so Tsukushi would be starting university and the F4 will be in their second year.

3. This will definitely be an RxT. I've written a TxT before so it's time for change! ( -shameless plug for Family Planning- )

4. This is not a continuation of Family Planning -- there is absolutely no relation between the two stories. Family Planning is a TxT humour fic, and Bittersweet Memories is (supposed to be) an RxT more on the romantic side. There is no correlation in the two timelines, so therefore, anything that happened in Family Planning is not applicable to Bittersweet Memories. Bittersweet Memories starts from the end of the one shot which takes place one year from the end of the manga series.

5. Therefore, just in case you haven't realised it, all my Hanadan fics are based on the mangaverse, but you will still understand it even if you have only seen the drama. Well, hopefully. Lol.


	4. Welcome home

Disclaimer: Hi. HYD does not belong to me :O

My apologies for being so slow with updates. From looking at the alerts, I know that I've kept a few of you waiting ;)

Thank you for all your comments and criticisms, they are much appreciated! As per what I got, I'll slow down the romance a bit... you'll see how. And if you spot any grammatical/spelling errors, please point them out to me -- I don't really enjoy reading my own things since it is kinda boring reading your own stuff.

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Onkiu

_Chapter 4: __ Welcome home_

* * *

"Where are we going?" asked Tsukushi as they got into Rui's beloved car.

"To a place with the best cure for headaches," said Rui.

The best cure for headaches, according to Rui, was an ice cream shop. Rui parked a little ways from an upmarket ice cream parlour located in a ritzy area of Tokyo, and together, they walked down the street full of people bustling about as they eagerly soaked in the nightlife.

As they weaved their way against the crowd of oncoming people, Tsukushi silently wished that she had more sensible shoes on. Her pair of high heels, which she usually saved for formal occasions, were not suitable for walking long distances or for nifty footwork used when dodging crowds. Teetering uncomfortably on them, she took slow, dainty steps forward as Rui walked ahead of her in a brisk pace.

Rui soon realised that Tsukushi was fairly far behind him, and he turned around, searching for her in the crowd.

"Tsukushi?" asked Rui cautiously, pushing back through the crowd. He found Tsukushi taking slow, purposeful steps forward, her high heels making clicking noises against the pavement.

"I'm alright, Rui," assured Tsukushi, grinning, her arms held out like airplane wings for balance. "Go on ahead without me, I'll catch up with you later."

For a moment, Rui held back the urge to laugh at the sight of Tsukushi waddling along the footpath. It looked so funny. She reminded him of a penguin. A cute penguin at that. But he merely snorted as he attempted to control his laughter. Grinning, he thrust his hand in front of her. "Here. I'll help you."

Hesitantly, Tsukushi accepted his cold hand and together, they walked silently down the road, hand in hand, when the little balance she had on those shoes soon gave in and she tripped over, spraining her ankle.

"Ow!" cried Tsukushi, as she fell forward onto the pavement. She pulled herself into a sitting position as she winced, pulling her ankle towards her, nursing it.

"Tsukushi?" Rui turned around, alarmed by the sudden jolt to his arm when she tripped. Ignoring the crowd that was scowling at them for blocking the path, he knelt down beside her, pushing her hand away from her ankle. Gently, he placed her ankle on his lap as he inspected it, and noted that it was, indeed, quite swollen. "We'll need to get you an ice pack."

"Alright," sighed Tsukushi, "But come back quickly, okay?"

"Who said I'm leaving you here in the middle of the path?" chuckled Rui. "We'll have to move you, you're blocking everyone's way."

"I can't walk," said Tsukushi flatly.

"I'll carry you," said Rui, getting ready to lift her into his arms.

"No! Don't carry me like that!" cried Tsukushi, looking around at the rest of the people milling around on the street. "That's embarrassing!"

Rui deliberated for a moment before concluding, rather slyly, "Okay. I guess I'll leave you here then."

Tsukushi considered such a prospect and realised that Rui's option of moving her out of the way was, by far, the better choice.

"Actually," said Tsukushi, grinning sheepishly. "I think I'll go with you."

Rui stood there, thinking for a moment on how to carry Tsukushi without embarrassing her or exacerbating her sprain. It was then that he figured out a way.

"Here. C'mon." Rui crouched in front her and indicated that he will giver her a piggy back. After a moment's hesitation, Tsukushi clambered on.

"Are you sure it's alright?" muttered Tsukushi, feeling a little miffed at having to be carried around in public. "I'm kinda heavy."

"You? Heavy?" laughed Rui. "I'm pretty strong myself."

"You? Strong?" retorted Tsukushi.

"No, not really, but you are light enough," smiled Rui as he pulled himself up slowly from a crouching position. "Shall we get going?"

"Maybe we should ditch the ice-cream if it means having to carry me, on foot, on the way there."

"We're actually pretty close now. It'll be further to walk back to the car."

Rui was indeed correct, and after a short distance, they finally reached the ice cream parlour that Rui seemed to be so fond of. He set her down on a chair, before he got up to order some ice cream.

"What's your favourite flavour?"

"Um..." mused Tsukushi, looking up at the menu. All her life, she had only had vanilla, chocolate and strawberry at the best of times, and to be presented with so many gourmet choices was almost daunting. But, knowing that she would probably not have the opportunity to try such niche ice-cream flavours, she felt that she simply had to divert from what she usually ate. "... How about ... er, cookies and cream?"

"A green tea ice cream for me," said Rui brightly, and left her to order the ice cream. Tsukushi was left sitting there to observe her surroundings. She couldn't help but notice that all the tables were for two and that most people sitting there were couples. It was a bit too cosy for her, and Tsukushi had a feeling that it was no coincidence that Rui had chosen this ice cream shop above all others.

Rui returned a few minutes later with two ice creams and, to Tsukushi's surprise, an ice pack.

"Here you go," said Rui, handing her her ice cream.

Tsukushi took a bite and couldn't help but wonder at how heavenly it tasted.

"What's that for?" asked Tsukushi, pointing at the ice pack.

"Your ankle, of course!" chuckled Rui, wondering how Tsukushi could not see something so obvious. "Here. Hold my ice cream."

Rui handed Tsukushi his ice cream before he knelt down before her, holding her ankle up whilst pressing the ice pack over it. Tsukushi felt it cool and the pain numb a little. Together, they sat in a comfortable silence as Tsukushi licked her ice cream and Rui alternately pressed and removed the ice pack from her swollen ankle -- Tsukushi had never known that Rui knew first aid.

After a few minutes, however, Tsukushi became horribly aware of the fact that many patrons of the shop were staring at them. For one thing, they were the only two dressed in formal wear. Rui, in particular, looked very handsome in his white suit. For another, he was knelt in front of Tsukushi, tenderly caring for her ankle, and Tsukushi couldn't help but think that he looked very much like a prince.

"Uh, Rui," muttered Tsukushi, breaking the silence. "Your ice cream's melting..."

The truth was that it _was_ melting and that green trails were running down her fingers, but she had hoped that he would take the hint to stop fixing her ankle whilst everyone was staring at them.

To her relief, Rui seemed to have taken the hint.

"Ah, I see." replied Rui. "I think your ankle should be fine, at least for now. It's nothing major. A bit of rest should fix it up."

He got up, took his ice cream from Tsukushi and sat down in the seat across the table from her. He took a bite of his not-so-cold ice cream and smiled indulgently at it.

"Yum."

The familiar, comfortable silence, once again, fell upon them. Every once in a while, however, Tsukushi couldn't help but sneak a glance at Rui, who was leaning casually against the chair as he ate his ice cream. He looked very much like a little boy given a well deserved treat.

_So adorable..._ she thought. _Damnit, Tsukushi!_

"Rui," said Tsukushi quickly, before she could continue thinking about things like that. "I never knew you knew first aid! You know what? My ankle feels a little better already."

"Well..." muttered Rui, looking a little guilty. "The thing is, I haven't been attending my lectures."

"What?!" scowled Tsukushi disapprovingly.

"I've been going to the medical students' ones instead," said Rui, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "They are far more interesting than business management, you know. I guess I picked up first aid along the way... who knew it'd come in handy one day?"

Tsukushi laughed.

"It's saved me, at the very least! Maybe you should become a doctor instead."

To her surprise, Rui looked a little crestfallen at that thought.

"That would be nice," he mused. "I really enjoy learning about human anatomy and physiology. But the thing is, if I were to enter medicine, no one would succeed my parents. So I guess I really have no choice."

For the third time, the silence once again fell upon them -- this time, a little uncomfortable. Again, Tsukushi made the effort to reignite the conversation.

"The ice cream's really nice," she said. "I've never tasted anything so good!"

"You say that about everything you eat," laughed Rui. "But the ice cream here does exceed other places."

"How'd you find this place?! I thought you didn't like going out."

"Well, Shizuka used to take me here," said Rui. "When I was little," he added, upon seeing Tsukushi's look of stunned disbelief.

To her surprise, this little piece of news -- that this place was a part of Rui and Shizuka's history -- stung. Was she, perhaps, a little jealous that they had no such place together?

"Oh... really?" said Tsukushi, a little too brightly, smiling cheerfully as she tried to hide such an unexpected reaction to this news.

"It was all in the past, anyway." said Rui, perhaps reinforcing the fact for Tsukushi's benefit. "When I was little, we used to be pent up inside the house. We usually weren't allowed out by ourselves because there was always that fear that we could be kidnapped and held for ransom. Sometimes, it would get a little too boring, especially since Tsukasa always had to win at whatever game we played. So Shizuka would tell us we were going on an adventure and we'd escape through some small hole in her back fence. Of course, Tsukasa, Akira and Soujiro would eventually wander off into some toy shop, and Shizuka would take me to this ice cream shop and buy me green tea ice cream."

"Oh, right," said Tsukushi, staring at her ice cream little too intently.

"I guess this is the equivalent of the emergency staircase for Shizuka," said Rui, almost as if he had read her thoughts and was reassuring her that they, too, had a special place together. "Don't worry about it. I don't come here because Shizuka took me here when I was little, I come here because their ice cream is the finest."

For some reason, the ice cream wasn't so yummy anymore, but luckily for Tsukushi, she was almost finished with it anyway.

* * *

Tired and full from her meal and the ice cream, Tsukushi slept through most of the hour long car ride back to her home on the outskirts of Tokyo, and before she knew it, they had already arrived at the small, dark street where the Makino's old and slightly rundown apartment was situated.

"We're home," whispered Rui.

"Are we there yet?" muttered Tsukushi, wiping some drool from her mouth with the back of her hand.

"We are, sleepyhead," smiled Rui. "C'mon, I'll carry you to the door."

Half awake, half asleep, Tsukushi latched herself onto Rui's back without any sort of protest about how embarrassing the situation was and how she could hobble to the door herself. Rui made an extra effort to walk as gently as possible so as not to make Tsukushi's sleep particularly bumpy.

"You're very warm, Tsukushi," whispered Rui. He wasn't exactly sure if she could hear him, because it felt like she had fallen asleep again. Her breathing on his neck was very regular, albeit a little ticklish.

Slowly but surely, Rui made his way to the front door with Tsukushi on his back, when all of a sudden, Tsukushi snuggled tightly against him.

"Domyouji..." she murmured, nuzzling against his neck.

Rui's heart skipped a beat.

Was Domyouji the one that she dreamt about at night, the one who pervaded her thoughts? Was he the one that she would miss if both of them were gone?

Was he just some sort of reserve?

Feeling as though he had been stabbed in the heart with just that one, simple word, Rui finally reached the front door and was about to knock on it when he hesitated. It was rather late at night and it would be most impolite to wake up the sleeping Makino family. However, he could hear laughing and chatting from inside, and decided that it was alright to do so. He was about to knock again when he was stopped, for the second time.

There was someone in there talking, someone he did not expect to be there -- no, someone who _should_ not be there.

However, knowing that Tsukushi was very sleepy, and a little injured, he decided that it would be best to get her in bed and resting. On his third attempt, Rui resolutely knocked on the door.

"Coming!" called Papa's voice from the inside. Some pounding footsteps were heard, and a few seconds later, the door opened and Papa's (rather funny) face appeared at the crack of the door.

"Rui!! Welcome home!" cried Papa, almost forgetting the fact that Rui did not live there. "Come in, come in, we were just talking about you! Where's Tsukushi?"

"Asleep," replied Rui, tilting his head to indicate that Tsukushi was simply hidden from view behind him.

Papa pulled the door open wider and some light escaped into the darkness outside where Rui was still standing with Tsukushi on his back. The light seemed to have woken Tsukushi up, for Rui felt her rouse a bit on his back.

"We home?" muttered Tsukushi incoherently.

They walked in, and as Papa moved back to the place he had been sitting on the floor prior to opening the door for Rui, Rui finally saw what Papa's bulk had hidden from him when they had been standing at the door.

Seated in between Mama and Susumu on the floor was Domyouji.

Domyouji's gaze slid from Rui to the half awake Tsukushi on his back. As if it were all in slow motion, Domyouji's expression changed from one of shock, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide, to one of seething anger barely under control as the fire in his eyes chill and his lips purse together. However, with Mama and Papa still grinning stupidly between the two as though it was a touching reunion, Domyouji was not about to let his temper run loose.

"Tsukasa," began Rui, but Domyouji seemed to be ignoring him.

The mention of his name seemed to have woken Tsukushi up fully, for Rui could feel her shifting around on his back.

"Domyouji?!" cried Tsukushi in surprise, looking around, until her eyes met with Domyouji's.

It was the same hard look he had given her when she had thought she had hurt him beyond repair. It was the same hard look he had given her when she thought he would never talk to him.

It was the same hard look that made Tsukushi freeze.

"Welcome home," said Domyouji.

* * *

_To be continued..._

A little short, I know. But I'm really, really uninspired.

It'd make me very happy if you guys review. And perhaps it may motivate me too, since I don't particularly like writing things when I don't know if anyone reads it.


	5. Always

Disclaimer: All this plot are belong to me... as for the rest, I have no chance. Make my time. ;)

Sorry for the long time it has taken for me to update. I'm a very slow writer. It might sound odd in a few places, but this is what you get for writing in ungodly hours of the morning. I did it for you guys and you guys only... oh my precious sleep :(

-- Panners (26/09/07)

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Panners

(yes, new name! One day, I'll change my name on all my other chapters)

_Chapter 5: Always_

* * *

In all her wildest dreams, Tsukushi did not expect to wake up and find Domyouji, of all people, waiting for her at home. Yet there he was, in flesh and blood, his cool gaze boring into hers. As soon as she looked back at him, however, he quickly glanced away as if he never saw her in the first place, and instead, turned his attention to Rui. 

So surreal was the scene that she had to pinch her face to make sure this was reality.

"Domyouji, I-" said Tsukushi, but Domyouji ignored her. He rose from his place between Mama and Susumu and drew himself to his full and impressive height, staring at Rui straight in the eye.

"Long time no see, Rui," said Domyouji in a rather strained sort of way. It was almost as if he were trying to keep something under control.

"Tsukasa -" began Rui evenly, looking back at him unflinchingly.

"As old _friends_, I believe that there is so much that we need to catch up on," continued Domyouji rather coldly.

Rui glanced at Mama and Papa, who were looking back and forth between Domyouji and Rui's implicit conversation as if it were some sort of tennis match, grinning stupidly as if it were a touching reunion. Surely, he wasn't about to start a fight in front of Tsukushi's parents?

"Outside," said Domyouji, who seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

Rui nodded and gently let Tsukushi back onto the ground (Domyouji scowled) before he and Domyouji walked out the door.

"I'll be back," Rui said quietly before the door shut on him. Tsukushi caught a glimpse of Domyouji's face -- he looked absolutely livid.

Mama and Papa, who had their attention quite avidly fixed upon Domyouji and Rui's touching reunion finally realised that their daughter was back amongst them - with a sprained ankle.

"What happened to you?!" scowled Mama, as she bustled about with her first aid kit, wrapping Tsukushi's ankle around in gauze to no avail.

"Nothing, really," replied Tsukushi, rolling her eyes although Mama did not see it. After having her ankle 'fixed', her curiosity got the better of her and she crawled over to the door, and tried to get up to have a look at what was happening to Domyouji and Rui. She had a feeling that it was all but friendly, despite the amiable dialogue they had been putting for show in front of Tsukushi's family.

However, her ankle was still quite painful, and she couldn't stand for long without the pain shooting up her leg. Defeated by her ankle, Tsukushi sat down and hoped that whatever they were talking about outside would end soon, and hopefully, without any loss of blood (although she knew she was probably exaggerating about the loss of blood -- but then again, knowing Domyouji, it just might happen.)

The time she waited for either one, or hopefully, both, to come back was painfully long, despite the fact that it was a mere five minutes by the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. She had almost given up thought on either of them coming back -- they probably went off somewhere else, perhaps? -- when the door opened again...

... And in walked Domyouji, his face impassive.

She wasn't quite sure what she exactly was meant to be feeling. She was afraid of how much she had hurt him, how angry he'd be at her, yet she was also happy to see him again. But yet, deep inside her, Tsukushi recognised that there was an oddly jarring feeling mingled amongst all her excitement of seeing Domyouji again. She knew it should all be ecstasy, which she did feel, judging by the leaping of her heart, yet there was something else there...

It was disappointment.

Small as it was, overshadowed as it was by her joy, it was there. Even as her heart leapt, it was paradoxically sinking at the same time. To her greater surprise, she knew exactly why she was feeling that way.

_I had been expecting for Rui to come through that door..._

In the year that she had been apart from Domyouji, she had expected nothing less than for Rui to come through that door, and seat himself amongst them as if he were a member of the family. He'd never failed to disappoint; always, it had been him coming through that door. Always, he had come for her, to see how she was feeling, how she was coping without Domyouji, how she was coming in her studies, with her family, with her job.

Always, it had been Rui who had come through that door for her when Domyouji was far, far away.

Yet now, it was Rui who was far, far away, and Domyouji who had come through the door for her. And now, usurping her disappointment was a feeling of resentment that Domyouji had only come back because he had felt threatened by Rui.

_Would he have come back had Rui not made him feel threatened?_

"Ah, how was it, Master Domyouji?" asked Mama sheepishly, as she blushed happily in front of Domyouji's royal presence.

Tsukushi's well honed insight into Domyouji's feelings noticed the scowl that marred his face for a split second before he replied, "I'm quite happy to see a childhood friend whom I haven't seen for so long."

_Domyouji is certainly a very good actor_, thought Tsukushi.

"So, where's Rui now?" asked Papa, pouting. Tsukushi almost laughed at Papa's mournful expression. He looked almost as disappointed as Tsukushi that Rui did not return.

Domyouji did not look pleased at the closeness by which Papa had called Rui's name. Whenever they addressed him, there was always a formality about it; he had always been Master Domyouji, someone who was above and beyond them. But Rui was simply Rui, someone on their level, someone who was one of them.

Again, Domyouji was able to quickly disguise his displeasure into a look of polite concern.

"He had some urgent business to attend, and he sends you his apologies," replied Domyouji politely.

Mama seemed to have noticed the lack of conversation between Tsukushi and Domyouji, and attributed it to shyness at getting intimate in front of so many people.

"Oh, disgusting! Susumu! You smell!" cried Mama.

"What?!" cried Susumu, alarmed, lifting up his arms and taking a good sniff.

"And you -- Papa, you're filthy!"

"But I just took a bath!" protested Papa.

"No, you haven't!" cried Mama. She stood up and declared, "Oh, I smell too!"

Papa and Susumu looked at each other oddly.

"I'm pretty sure Mama took a bath after you, Papa," whispered Susumu.

"I'm pretty sure about it too," Papa whispered back. "She complained about the lack of soap."

"Susumu!" barked Mama. "Have you taken a bath yet?"

"No... I'll go get my things now --" said Susumu, getting up, but Mama got the better of him.

"Good, because neither have Papa and I," declared Mama. "Let's go to the bathhouse together."

"What?!" cried Papa. "But we purposely hired this place _because _it had a bathroom!"

"IT'S BROKEN!" screamed Mama.

"But I just used it, and it was fine --" cried Papa.

"Come!" snapped Mama, dragging Papa and Susumu by the arms and out the door as Susumu protested, "But I haven't gathered my things yet!"

The door slammed shut before Tsukushi could protest that she had not taken a bath either, and she was now left alone with Domyouji in a very awkward and uncomfortable silence.

She had been anticipating seeing Domyouji all year; she had been yearning to see him and hold him -- yet now he was right there in front of her, but felt like he was a million miles away. They sat across from each other but avoided the other's gaze; the air was silent, yet so heavy that Tsukushi could almost feel it buzzing about.

After what felt like a few tedious hours, Tsukushi felt it was her duty to explain the unfortunate misunderstanding to Domyouji, for he had the right to know.

"Domyouji, I --" began Tsukushi, but Domyouji held his hand up, and she fell silent.

"Don't tell me," he whispered, and Tsukushi was surprised to hear how weak and pathetic his voice was. His face was turned away from her, but Tsukushi had the feeling he was holding back tears. To see her great Domyouji like this stabbed her in the heart, and what little resentment she had felt at the motive for his return simply evaporated under all her guilt and shame from having wounded him like this.

She had always thought that she was his weak point; perhaps the only thing that could make the mighty Domyouji buckle. And she had been quite correct; for she had known long enough that nothing else could hurt him in quite the same way she could.

"No, Domyouji! Let me explain! I --"

"I don't want to know."

"Look, it's all a misunderstanding!" cried Tsukushi.

"Misunderstanding?" repeated Domyouji incredulously. He lifted his face towards her and was staring at her in the eye. His blazing look relieved her; he was back to the same old Domyouji he was before. "You expect me to think it's a misunderstanding when you two waltz in after midnight with you snuggling against his back?!"

"Domyouji, I sprained my ankle," sighed Tsukushi, pointing at the useless gauze that Mama had wrapped around it.

"A likely tale," countered Domyouji, though he looked less convinced about his stance now; he looked more worried about her than angry with her now.

Tsukushi felt relieved that she was finally getting through to him, and perhaps, she could finally enjoy his company that she had yearned for all year when he dropped the question like a bolt from the blue.

"Makino. Do you love Rui?" he asked softly.

"I... of course I love him!" she declared haughtily, before she could stop herself. Even Domyouji looked surprised at her quick answer; it looked as if he was half expecting her to deny profusely any feelings for him.

"You... do?"

Domyouji looked absolutely defeated.

"He's my friend!" burst Tsukushi angrily; again, before she could stop herself. "I love my friends!"

Domyouji seemed to have regained some colour from her answer, and looked slightly happier although not entirely convinced.

"Only as a friend?"

"Only as -- I..." began Tsukushi, though she could not continue.

His question had provoked some worrying thoughts inside her.

She had always advocated honesty, but the answer she was on the verge of giving him was quite dishonest.

Did she love him only as a friend?

Or was he more than a friend to her?

* * *

The conversation between them was still playing inside Rui's head as he drove down the road and came to a halt at the intersection. 

_"Rui," Tsukasa had said coldly. His eyes were blank; a sign that signalled to Rui the dangerous emotions Tsukasa was feeling right now. "Why are you doing this to me?"_

_"Doing what?" Rui had replied, although he had known exactly what Tsukasa would say next. Perhaps it was because this had happened before; the feeling of deja-vu was so strong that Rui felt he could have recited the next line together with Tsukasa._

_"Of all the people in the world, I would not expect you to sink so low as to steal a friend's girlfriend."_

_"Girlfriend?" echoed Rui. "I had never intended it to be that way, because, as long as you two were happy, that would have made me happy. But she is not happy, and I think I can make her happy. It's a fair game."_

_"Fair game when I'm a thousand miles away, huh?" retorted Tsukasa._

_"It's even because she only has feelings for you."_

_Tsukasa looked a bit shocked at Rui's sudden statement, and, to his surprise, quite remorseful._

_"She misses you constantly, yet you do nothing to relieve her aching feelings for you. You still have the propensity to call her your girlfriend from the way you treat her?"_

_"The way I treat her?" snapped Tsukasa. "You have no right to judge how I treat her when you don't know anything about it!" _

_"I know exactly how you treat her. She calls you constantly, she writes to you constantly, but I have barely seen any sort of reply from you."_

_"As she knows very well, and as I have told her constantly, I am quite busy nowadays."_

_"Too busy to even write back to your girlfriend? Or even call her back?"_

_"I miss her more than you'll ever know!"_

_"Yet you're too busy to tell her that? If you love her that much, how hard can it be to _make_ some time for her?"_

_"I've made the time to come back here for her!" _

_"Only because you felt threatened by me," replied Rui quietly. "As you and I know perfectly well. Would you have come back had I not said anything?"_

_"I would have come back regardless of whether you had said anything, with you constantly buzzing in and out of her home! Don't think that I don't know what you have been doing in my absence!"_

_"That's because I make the time to be there for her," whispered Rui. "Because -- I love her."_

Before Rui could see it, Tsukasa had punched him. Rui would have liked to punch him back, to perhaps wake him to his senses; but he felt that Tsukushi would not have been happy to see Tsukasa bruised on the very first day she was to see him for at least a year. Rui therefore restrained himself physically, yet he could not restrain those pulsating feelings of anger that were now reverberating throughout his body and originating from his now throbbing temple.

Anger was normally not a feeling he was previously acquainted with. Yet ever since he met Tsukushi, he had felt angry more often. At first, he wasn't sure what this feeling was. He had always felt quite apathetic towards people, and to have this girl provoke a new emotion within him was quite a new experience. He had soon established a causal relationship between Tsukushi and his newfound feelings of anger; whenever he had felt angry; _she_ was always involved.

He had felt angry at the Eitoku students who had been throwing eggs at her, and had hurt her so much that she had to run to the university to take refuge. He had felt angry when Tsukasa had sent her home -- alone -- from New York. He had felt angry when the amnesic Tsukasa trampled carelessly over her feelings.

He had always felt angry not at her but for her, and it was this same anger that as coursing through his body as he drove. If he had to assign a colour to this, he would have chosen red. Flashes of red passed his vision and clouded by anger, he failed to notice that the lights had not changed as he pressed on the accelerator.

The light was still red as Rui drove into the intersection, and an oncoming car drove into his side.

And slowly, the red of Rui's vision was replaced with black as he faded to unconsciousness.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	6. The most important person in the world

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me :)

Apologies for taking so long with this; seems like I bit down more than I could chew.

Chapter 6 completed on 18th Jan, 2008.

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Panners

_Chapter 6: The most important person in the world_

* * *

"Well," smirked Akira. "It's certainly nice to see that you're still fit and healthy..." 

"... On the very day you leave us," remarked Soujiro sarcastically. "Thanks for informing us of your return _in advance._ I was simply _dying _to cancel my date with what's-her-name-again just to meet up with you."

"Are you telling me that you can't put your love life on hold for a friend?" Domyouji raised his eyebrows inquisitively.

"_I_ may be able to, but _my friend_ downstairs might not."

Akira, Soujiro and Tsukushi had come to the airport to bid farewell to Domyouji, who was due to fly back to New York only a day after his unpleasant encounter with Rui. As it turned out, Domyouji's return to Japan had been a spur of the moment thing. Having felt uneasy about Rui's declarations, he had arranged for the earliest possible flight back to Japan. Unfortunately for him, however, he had not been able to escape any of his aides and secretaries for the remainder of the week as he had been so busy, having had a meeting been scheduled for him at every possible timeslot. When he finally saw his golden opportunity, he had secretly snuck out at night and taken a taxi to the airport.

"It's nearly time, isn't it?" commented Akira, checking his watch. "And Rui _still_ isn't here."

Tsukushi did not miss Domyouji's scowl at the mention of Rui's name, although Akira and Soujiro did.

"Probably couldn't make it on such short notice," shrugged Soujiro.

"Knowing him, I'd say he's probably asleep as usual. I called him before and his phone was off," said Akira. He pulled out his phone and dialled Rui's number. "Hmm. Phone's still off. Definitely asleep."

"Well, even if you call him now, there isn't going to be enough time for him to get to the airport before Domyouji leaves," said Tsukushi, quickly diverting the attention of Rui and back onto the Domyouji's farewell. She knew very well that Rui probably did not come because he did not want to turn this occasion sour due to the deepening rift between him and Domyouji.

Domyouji himself did not seem to like having Tsukushi's mind stray to any thought of Rui.

"Makino -- can I have a word with you?"

"Oooh," sniggered Soujiro.

He gave Soujiro and Akira a withering look that plainly said "Get lost", and although Soujiro didn't take the hint, Akira did, and he quickly pulled him away with the mention of "pretty girls over there". Domyouji, in turn, pulled Tsukushi as far away from them as possible, and once safely out of their reach, he gripped Tsukushi's shoulders so tightly that she thought he just might bring her to New York with him.

"Listen, Makino," he whispered, staring so intently into her eyes that she could not even blink.

"W-what?" His steel grip on her shoulders was now hurting a little, but she could not bring herself to shrug him off.

"Promise me ... promise me that you'll wait for me."

"I promised you that a year ago!"

"Then renew your promise!"

"What's with this all of a sudden?!" cried Tsukushi. "Why are you so paranoid?!"

"Because you're too beautiful. Without me around, I bet there'll be a million guys chasing after you, and you're so fickle --"

"Excuse me?!" shrilled Tsukushi. Fickle was a word Tsukushi associated with Soujiro and Akira, but never had she been described as such and did not like such a description of herself.

"Then promise me!" urged Domyouji. "I promise you that I'll come back for you, we'll get married, and I'll make you the happiest woman on earth!"

His grip on her tightened further, as if letting go would mean losing her.

"Alright! Alright!" she cried. "There! Happy now?!"

Domyouji beamed. His smile was so happy that Tsukushi felt guilty that she had ever even thought about Rui in his absence. He pulled her into an embrace and whispered into her ear.

"You ... are the most important person in the world to me. Life would be meaningless if you were taken away from me."

* * *

As the pain of Domyouji's departure began to sink in in the following days, Tsukushi realised, paradoxically, how much she had relied on Rui being there for her, even if just to listen to her vexations. Ever since the night at her home, she had neither heard from him nor seen him. Initially, she had decided not to call him, for it may have still been rather awkward between them ever since Domyouji's return. 

However, after a few days without receiving a call from him, she wondered if he could actually have been uncharacteristically angry at her. It struck her how much she depended on Rui; he was perhaps one of her closest friends, her confidante -- she felt rather helpless without his support. She had tried calling him, yet to no avail - his phone was off all the time. After class, she found herself automatically heading towards the emergency staircase, yet when she arrived there, it was empty. Could it be that he was avoiding her?

Staring at the spot that Rui would usually have sat, Tsukushi soon wondered to herself whom she was missing more -- was it Domyouji or was it Rui? She was used to Domyouji being away from her now, but Rui had always been there for her.

The pain she felt from Rui's absence was, by far, the greater of the two.

Tsukushi stood, alone, at the top of the emergency, reminiscing. It was so nostalgic -- all of her fondest and happiest memories of her time at Eitoku Academy all seemed to involve Rui. All her worst memories seemed to involve Domyouji and his red tags, yet, funny that, she had chosen Domyouji in the end.

Her trip down memory lane was cut short by the ringing of her phone. Pulling it out, she nearly dropped it when she noticed the name on her screen.

_Hanazawa Rui_.

"H-hello?" she whispered, praying that her voice might not crack at the sheer emotion of knowing that he was not angry with her, that he had taken the initiative to call her...

"Tsukushi." Rui's voice was so soft, so quiet.

"Where have you been?!" burst Tsukushi. She counted herself lucky that Rui could not see that she was wiping the tears from her eyes. "Are you angry at me?"

"Tsukushi... I'm in hospital."

It was the second time that Tsukushi nearly dropped her phone.

"What?! When?! How?! Why?! Are you alright? Which hospital?"

She could hear Rui chuckling as she bombarded more questions at him.

"I had a car accident..."

Tsukushi felt the colour drain from her face.

"... and it turns out that I've had a concussion. I've been here for a few days without even realising it."

By the time Tsukushi had gathered enough detail into Rui's location, she had calmed down considering. Deciding that it was worthwhile to cut class just for today, she had rushed home and cooked up (what she hoped was) a delicious meal for Rui, for she had heard that hospital was rather bland. Upon arriving at the hospital, finding which room he was in was the easy task -- for it was the only room where ten nurses had gathered outside and were all whispering and giggling. Entering the room, however, was the difficult task -- especially when she had to fight her way past a crowd of ten nurses that were shooting her mutinous looks as she knocked on the door.

"Come in," called Rui.

Tsukushi quickly entered and shut the door on the nurses' death stares. Rui was propped on the bed, looking thinner and paler than she had ever seen him. His right leg was in a cast and his head was wrapped in a bandage. He seemed awake and alert, however, for in his hands was a novel (Tsukushi recognised the cover to be the English version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) and he seemed to be reading it intently. Tsukushi wondered how talented he was in linguistics.

"Rui!"

Rui looked up and smiled. He replaced his bookmark in the book, closed it shut and set it aside on the bedside table.

"You've come all this way to visit me?"

"Of course!" said Tsukushi, pulling the lunch box she had made for Rui and setting it on the table in front of him. "I made something for you to eat."

"Ah. Thank you. I was getting rather hungry."

Tsukushi knew exactly why - on the very same table was an untouched tray of food made by the hospital. Rui pulled open the lunch box and nudged the tray away from him.

"You should eat when you're hungry," reprimanded Tsukushi. "You've grown thinner."

"I've tried it before," replied Rui. "But it had no taste, and it looks so plain. I must've become fond of your foreign foods."

With nothing else to do, Tsukushi was left to observe Rui eating. Despite his current state, she couldn't help but smile at how much Rui loved their commoner dishes. Every now and then, he gazed in fascination at some of the food she had put in his lunchbox, and, despite being thinner and paler than before, he looked just as handsome as he had always been.

"Mmm... Rui?" she murmured, as she continued to gaze at him eating.

"What's wrong?" asked Rui, before picking up a piece of fish and placing it in his mouth.

"Are you angry at me?"

Rui chewed the fish slowly and deliberately before swallowing it.

"I could never be angry at you."

Tsukushi's eyes widened in surprise.

"Why? But I've seen you --"

"I could only be angry at those who hurt you."

Rui set down his pair of chopsticks and smiled at her.

"That's because you're the most important person in the world to me."

It was then that the truth finally dawned on her.

The reason why she was disappointed to see Domyouji coming through the door, the reason why she missed Rui more when both he and Domyouji were away from her, and the reason why she had been so reluctant to make her promise to Domyouji.

Hanazawa Rui was the most important person in the world to her.

It was as if she was seeing Rui in a whole new light.

_The most important person in the world to me..._

And it was an inconvenient truth, one that she would have to avoid for now. She quickly got up. Now was the time to leave before her overwhelming feelings for Rui got a hold of her.

"I've got to go," she said abruptly. As she reached out to get her bag, however, Rui gently grasped her hand.

"Don't leave."

"I can come back tomorrow," lied Tsukushi.

"Don't leave _me_."

Tsukushi turned around, and wished she hadn't. Rui's mere presence provoked feelings she could never admit to Domyouji, and the resolve to leave him was harder than ever.

"I..."

Before she realised it, Rui had already reached out and pulled her into his embrace, an embrace that she had longed for.

"I could never leave you, Rui."

* * *

_To be continued..._


	7. His and her delusions

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me :)

I was not content to leave this hanging... so here it is!

* * *

**Bittersweet Memories**

By Panners

_Chapter __ 7: His and her delusions_

* * *

All these years, he had been delusional. He had mistaken love for Tsukushi as simple affection, and attachment to Shizuka as love. When he'd realised his mistake, she had grown to love Domyouji, who loved her and her only. He would tell himself that, as long as he could see her smile, as long as he could be by her side, he'd be happy.

Yet, he could not stay content just being like that. He continued to love her even after her love was for someone else. He continued to love her to the day that she realised that she too, had never stopped loving him.

"I could never leave you, Rui," Tsukushi said.

All these years, she had been delusional. She'd thought that even if Rui was pursued her before Domyouji, she would have chosen Domyouji in the end. She thought that they would be content staying as friends. Yet even when she was with Domyouji, she had needed him. Tsukushi, now entangled in his embrace, could feel him smile.

"I would never let you go," replied Rui. "Because..."

Tsukushi couldn't help but smile too. It was as if, at last, her eyes and her mind had finally been opened to reality.

"... _I love you_."

Tsukushi murmured into his ear.

"_I love you too._"

* * *

Rui's day of discharge came, and upon her insistence, Tsukushi had come to help him pack up his bags to go home in place of the servants of his household. It was now, when he was at his most vulnerable state, that Tsukushi realised how much Rui had needed her, and how much she wanted to be there for him just as he had been there for her in her most vulnerable times. Neither his mother nor his father had come to help, and as far as she was aware, they probably did not even realise that their son had been involved in an accident.

They arrived back at his house, and Tsukushi's help with his discharge turned into helping him transition back to home life. As she dropped his stack of books back into his room, she couldn't help but notice how stiflingly still his house was, despite the fact that its beauty lay with its tranquility.

He was very much alone in this house.

But now, he had her.

He would not be alone anymore.

"Would you like me to stay over tonight to help you?" asked Tsukushi.

"I would love for you to stay forever," he replied.

* * *

In a spare guest room, sitting quietly by herself, Tsukushi decided that it was time for her to explain herself to Domyouji. It was only fair to him, and to them, that she explained herself and her intentions to him clearly.

_Dear Domyouji,_

_I am sorry._

_I think that I am going to break my promise to you._

_-- Tsukushi._

* * *

_The end._

I believe the time is nigh in ending the fic, as I wanted some closure on this. I had intended for it to be longer, but I don't have the time, nor the will, to write anymore Hana Yori Dango, especially a multi-chaptered fic which requires planning, patience and persistence. Secondly, I don't see this fic being able to progress any further considering how TxT canon is. A believable and realistic RxT is much harder to write than I had initially thought, and melancholy was never really my cup of tea to begin with.

I don't feel that this fic will end with a 'happily ever after', and I do not intend to force one -- after all, Tsukushi and Domyouji have a history together, and have invested much emotion into their relationship. Rui and Domyouji are childhood friends. The beginning of a relationship between Rui and Tsukushi will mean an end to the friendship between Rui and Domyouji, and a romance between Tsukushi and Domyouji. So while there is some joy, there is more sadness.

I hope you all enjoyed this! I hope to be able to write more fanfics, but as of now, it looks like a no. Guess I'll be hibernating for a while now. Maybe I'll put in a one-shot from time to time -- probably something that'll make me laugh, and hopefully, make you laugh too. I still enjoy crack more.


End file.
